第二四三三章 娶个祖宗当皇后
笔趣阁(biquge321.com)更新快,无弹窗!
算大他十几岁的女人,也完全可以做到强硬不讲理,但唯独碰上沈亦儿这样的刁蛮女子,无计可施。
恶人自有恶人磨!
朱厚照只能是换上哀求的口吻:“皇后,要不咱商量一下,今天是咱二人大婚之日,出了这门不吉利,不如你在里面睡,朕在外面打个地铺睡,互不侵犯,明日一早你再跟朕一起去见太后,这样总没问题了吧?”
沈亦儿道:“谁说没问题的?万一你夜里跑来侵犯本大小姐该当如何?”
朱厚照笑道:“朕乃九五之尊,不会做言而无信之事,你相信朕如何?”
说话间,朱厚照想往里面走上两步,却被沈亦儿喝止:“站住!谁让你靠前的?”
朱厚照又赶紧举起双手,后退两步,表示自己并无冒犯之意。
二人僵持了一会儿,沈亦儿终于做出一定妥协,道:“这样吧,你说晚上不会乱来,本姑奶奶便信你一次,不过先把丑化说在前面,如果你乱来,该怎样?发个毒誓吧……”
“你……”
朱厚照心想,苍天啊,朕几时受过如此闲气?这到底是娶了个皇后回来,还是娶了个祖宗啊?
面对一个强硬不讲理的沈亦儿,偏偏自己作为皇帝都无计可施,那种挫败感很强烈,本来朱厚照还想在沈亦儿面前好好耍耍威风。
朱厚照咽了口唾沫,道:“别发毒誓行不行?”
沈亦儿冷笑不已:“那本姑奶奶离开皇宫行不行?”
每句话都是在呛人!
朱厚照感觉到自己很被动,为了不让颜面进一步扫地,新婚之夜被赶出婚房,只能忍气吞声。
朱厚照语气低沉:“那朕就依从于你,今日便在外面打地铺睡,绝不会侵犯皇后……”
“要说本大小姐,你难道不知该如何称呼吗?”沈亦儿很不满意朱厚照对她的叫法。
朱厚照又举起手,没好气道:“那就不侵犯沈小姐,你是你,朕是朕,这样总没有问题了吧?”
“还没说毒誓的内容!光说不侵犯,那违背之后该当如何?”沈亦儿咄咄逼人,完全不给朱厚照面子。
朱厚照只能咬牙切齿地道:“若是违背此誓,让朕天打五雷轰,皇位不得保,断子绝孙!你总不能还让朕发誓把祖宗的坟扒了,这才算完吧?”
听了朱厚照的毒誓,沈亦儿总算满意了许,点头道:“总算说了句人话,行了,不允许打扰大小姐睡觉,你可以到外面打地铺了。”
朱厚照一听便来气,心想:“这怎么就叫说了句人话?难道之前朕说的不是人话?”
不过已经赌咒,朱厚照不会真的跟沈亦儿掐架,道:“你不给朕被褥,朕怎么打地铺?把被子拿来。”
沈亦儿看了看榻上的被褥,蹙眉道:“这天虽是暖了,但被子就这么多,给了你本小姐睡什么?这里可真奇怪,为什么没有配置放备用被褥的柜子?你直接和衣而睡吧。”
朱厚照近乎是气急败坏道:“朕都已经应允你出去打地铺不侵犯你,你现在连被子都不给,难道让朕席地而睡?朕病了你承担得起吗?”
沈亦儿撇撇嘴:“你病了跟我何干?这样吧,被子就一床,那自然是本小姐用,下面的褥子倒是很厚,分你一点,至于你要盖的……那边还有几件衣服,你拿来盖在身上御寒吧。”
此时朱厚照心里别提有多生气了,但偏偏无计可施,好像自己满身的本事,但在遇到这个小祖宗之后便焉了。
“过来拿你自己的褥子。”
沈亦儿道,“你不自己拿,我就给你丢到地上去。”
“哼!”
朱厚照轻哼一声,走到床榻边上,沈亦儿往后靠了靠,生怕他会上前加以侵犯。
朱厚照心想:“这小丫头到底还是怕朕的,不然她为何这么防备?虽然已经许诺过,不能把她怎么样,但吓唬一下她还是可以的。”
想到这里,朱厚照脸上多了几分自信,笑容变得坏坏的,好像随时要当豺狼会对沈亦儿不利。
沈亦儿微微眯眼望着他,道:“赶紧拿你的被子走人,再不走的话,小心姑奶奶教训你!”
一句话就让朱厚照之前所保持的凶狠之色烟消云散,他还想吓唬小姑娘,到头来却发现自己未必能打得过她,这就有点悲哀了。
朱厚照冷声道:“不跟你一个小女子一般见识,走着瞧。”
“呸,没本事的孬种!”
沈亦儿毫不客气地骂道。
朱厚照恨得牙痒痒,抱着从床榻上分来的“褥子”,却开始琢磨在哪儿打地铺的问题,朱厚照四下观察半晌,回头看着沈亦儿道:“朕就在里面打地铺行吗?”
“你想言而无信?”
沈亦儿正在整理被褥,回过头数落道。
朱厚照道:“外屋没有地龙,褥子这么薄,怎么铺?还是里面好,这里有两把椅子,还有两根凳子……拼起来上面能睡个人。”
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