第二百零五章 不该
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第二百零五章 不该
我敢保证,没有比哇一声能带给站在产房外的父亲更震撼的声音了,我腿一软,再次坐倒在地,这回是再怎么也挣不起来了,产房里杂七杂八的声音道:“生了生了,终于生了!”二傻正带着一帮人准备喊三呢,愣给憋回来了。
一个婆子飞跑而出,兴奋道:“恭喜齐王,母子平安……”
二傻打断她道:“别说性别,让我猜猜是男是女。”傻子手抚下巴看了一会天,笃定道:“女的!”
项羽道:“嗯?听这声音应该是男孩。”
李师师咯咯笑道:“我看是个女孩子。”
项羽回头问我:“小强,你说呢?”
我鄙夷地看了他们一眼道:“人家不是说了么,母子平安!”
众人大惭,项羽呵呵而笑:“是我们欢喜得狠了,在这个关头还是小强这个当爹的心细呀。”我见他一副以后打算含饴弄孙的德行,提前警告他道:“不许说是你们项家有后啊,儿子跟我姓。”项羽哼了一声,过去揽住虞姬的肩头道:“咱自己生。”
刘邦看看我,问:“你怎么还不去看看你儿子?”
我冲他一伸手:“你敢拉我一把不?”
有我带头,众人小心翼翼地跟在后面,婆子和侍女端着盆鱼贯而出,屋里只剩下吕后怀里抱着孩子,她冲我一笑道:“恭喜了,是个大胖小子。”
我郑重地接过来,小家伙秃头无眉,满脸褶皱,像要跟谁拼命似的愤怒大哭,一边还被胎液呛得咳嗽几声。手脚还上下乱动,身体粉红,我故意咋呼道:“咋这丑呢!”
吕后边擦手边说:“小孩子生出来都是这样的,看这孩子的大眼睛,长大以后八成是俊俏后生。”说着把验明正身的儿子用布裹起来。
李师师怜爱地接到自己怀里,用手绢轻轻擦着小东西的脸,欣喜道:“小家伙精神可真好。”
项羽抱过来微微一掂,道:“嗬。这家伙足有八斤!”刘邦抱过也掂一下,附和道:“得有得有!”
趁这个工夫我看了看包子,看来生孩子真是体力活,包子躺在那一个劲眨巴眼睛,却连说话的力气也没有了,我伸手摸了摸她地脸颊,问她:“想吃啥?”当着这么多人的面,这实在已经是我能想出的最肉麻的话了。
包子快如闪电地一口咬在我手上。紧接着痛入骨髓,开始我还以为她是出力太多饿昏了把我手当猪肘子了,等看见她眼睛里忿忿和顽皮的神色以后才明白她这是在报复我,我手如火烤,又不好意思叫。只得尽量压稳口吻说:“我刚才去完厕所没洗手。”
包子吐掉我手,眼睛往身下望去,道:“我儿子呢,给我也看看吧——”
这会孩子正在秦始皇怀里。胖子的身体冬暖夏凉的,我儿子待得舒服了,停止了哭声,把眼睛眯缝起来打量了一下秦始皇,然后好象还满意地点了点头,意示嘉许,众人无不失笑,都道:“这小子架子可够大的。”
二傻张开双臂道:“给我玩玩。”
嬴胖子扭身道:“不给。挂皮!”
包子捶床道:“胖子,给我拿来!”众人均寒……
秦始皇见这孩子地本主说话了,赶紧乖乖送到包子眼前,我把孩子放在她枕头边上,包子侧过脸,爱怜横溢地看着他,这时小家伙也张开了眼睛,那么漆黑无邪地盯着包子看。包子用一根指头摸了摸他柔软的下巴。小东西就呵呵笑了起来,众人无不被萌。刘邦道:“小强,这孩子该起名字了吧?”
项羽用那种老辈人的口气沉声道:“是啊——”我转头瞪他,项羽摊手道,“姓萧也得起名字吧?”
秦始皇挥手道:“还起撒(啥)么,就叫萧情(秦)生!”
刘邦不满道:“为什么不叫萧汉生?”
秦始皇毫不迟疑顶回去道:“因为不丝(是)在汉朝生滴!”
刘邦辩驳道:“这不对呀,大家都哥们,不能因为在你家生就由着你来,我还把我媳妇搞来帮忙了呢。”
吕后斥道:“去,出去争去,让包子好好休息!”
众人急忙噤声往出走,只不过秦始皇还是低低地道:“萧情(秦)生!”
刘邦:“萧汉生!”……
我和包子相对一笑,吕后道:“小强也出去,孩子由我照看着。”
……我只好也背着手幽幽地出来,院子里,孩子名字的争论范围又加大了,项羽高声道:“要这么说,没我还没包子呢,就叫萧楚生!”
二傻悠悠道:“这个不好。”
项羽怒道:“怎么了?”
二傻自信道:“谐音不好。”
我们一听都跟着念叨起来:“萧楚生,萧楚生,萧畜……”马上齐声道,“绝不能叫这个!”
项羽呆呆道:“哎呀,果然……我还想让我儿子叫这个呢。”虞姬狠狠拧了他一把。他那个姓还占着便宜呢,项(像)畜生还不是畜生,
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