第38章 赵大德第一次看戏
笔趣阁(biquge321.com)更新快,无弹窗!
人生已然被悄然定价、悄然葬送、悄然掩埋、悄然献祭。所有人都在盛世繁华里安然享乐,所有人都在集体沉默里共谋罪恶,所有人都在虚假平和里心安理得。
当夜,夜深人静、暑气渐消、晚风微凉、市井沉寂、街巷空落、戏台荒芜。白日的喧嚣热闹尽数褪去,满堂人潮尽数散去,震天喝彩尽数寂灭,整座古镇归于静谧安然,唯有戏台残留的燥热、戏衣浸染的寒凉、心底沉淀的屈辱,依旧牢牢缠绕着孤身独坐的少女,久久不散、无从消解。
苏玉环独坐昏暗油灯之下,褪去满身凄冷的戏妆、卸下一身沉重的戏衣、洗去满脸惨白的粉黛,露出十六岁少女本该干净稚嫩、略带青涩、纯粹柔软的原生眉眼。可历经白日那场无声审判、冰冷审视、屈辱定价、全员漠视之后,她眼底原本澄澈透亮、明媚温柔、满怀期许、纯粹干净的少年光彩,已然彻底散尽、彻底熄灭、彻底消亡,只剩沉淀心底、挥之不去、浸透神魂、层层堆叠的寒凉、厌弃、屈辱与荒芜。
她缓缓摊开随身多年、记录年少点滴、承载纯粹过往、留存人间温柔的老旧日记,指尖轻轻抚过泛黄纸页,最终落笔在当日的日期旁。没有长篇大论的记事、没有细碎矫情的感慨、没有委屈哭诉的宣泄、没有悲愤不甘的呐喊、没有絮絮叨叨的倾诉。
她落笔极重、力道极冷、笔尖锋利,硬生生戳破单薄纸层、压出深刻笔痕,带着极致的克制、极致的隐忍、极致的抵触、极致的厌弃,用尽全身心底残存的倔强与清冷,冷冷落下两个字字千钧、冷透百年的短字。
恶心。
二字极简、直白凌厉、毫无修饰、不加煽情、平淡刺骨,没有半分刻意的悲戚、没有半分刻意的悲愤,却藏尽了十六岁少女全部的尊严被碾碎、全部的纯粹被玷污、全部的未来被定价、全部的人生被掌控、全部的热忱被浇灭、全部的天真被撕碎的极致屈辱与透彻寒凉,藏尽了底层人命被物化、被利用、被牺牲、被漠视的无边悲凉。
她恶心的从来不是那三枚冰冷的银洋、不是权贵廉价的打赏、不是市井热闹的喧嚣、不是戏台唱戏的辛劳。
她恶心的是那道居高临下、冰冷漠然、物化人命、直视灵魂、裁定生死的肮脏目光,是那道目光里毫无敬畏、毫无人情、毫无悲悯、只剩利用与牺牲的极致冰冷。
她恶心的是这方水土根深蒂固、腐朽冷血、吃人不吐骨、无声灭人性的卑劣规则,是世人将鲜活人命当器物把玩、将纯粹善良当祭品牺牲、将少年热忱当筹码交易、将底层蝼蚁当尘埃践踏的肮脏世道。
她恶心的是满堂世人明明心知肚明、隐隐察觉异样,却全员沉默、全员退让、全员默许、全员臣服、全员共谋的极致凉薄,是众生为了自保安稳、为了依附权贵、为了苟活于世,甘愿牺牲无辜、甘愿纵容罪恶、甘愿漠视苦难、甘愿同流合污的丑陋人性。
她恶心的更是渺小无助的自己,明明心知屈辱、通体恶寒、万般抵触、满心不甘,却终究无处可逃、无力反抗、无从挣脱、无法逆转,只能任由权贵定价命运、任由规则碾压人生、任由世人共谋牺牲、任由宿命裹挟沉沦的卑微与无力。
百年幽冥,幽暗地宫,死寂戏台。
悬浮虚空的老旧日记静静沉浮,那两个力道破纸、冷硬刺骨、意蕴千钧、藏尽百年委屈与不甘的字迹,在亘古幽暗的虚空里隐隐发烫、轻轻震颤、默默回响,跨越悠悠百年沧桑、历经无数岁月侵蚀、熬过无尽幽冥孤寂,依旧鲜活、依旧锋利、依旧刺骨、依旧倔强,牢牢承载着十六岁盛夏那个少女最纯粹、最真实、最未被磨灭、从未被妥协的厌恶、不甘与倔强。
环娘飘摇破碎的魂体剧烈轻颤,周身盘踞百年、凛冽滔天、杀伐刺骨的猩红煞气尽数缓缓褪去、悄然蛰伏,褪去了百年厉鬼的滔天恨意、冰冷戾气、杀伐凶焰,唯独剩下一缕十六岁盛夏独有的、干净澄澈、倔强不屈、不肯妥协、不甘沉沦的少年心气,穿透了百年怨恨、百年孤寂、百年沉沦、百年沧桑,在幽暗地宫之中重新鲜活、重新滚烫、重新绽放。
她当年落笔只写了短短两字,极简极冷、平淡无波、看似轻描淡写,却悄悄藏住了一整场无声无息、无人知晓、无人共情、无人忏悔的隐秘审判,藏住了一整场精心布局、周密算计、层层铺垫、步步锁死的宿命交易,藏住了一整场全员参与、全员沉默、全员纵容、全员受益的集体共谋,藏住了一整场从十六岁盛夏便已然注定、无人可破、无人可救、无人可逆的覆灭悲剧。
彼时年少的苏玉环,尚且懵懂单纯、不谙世事、不识阴规、不懂献祭、不知棋局、不明人心。她看不懂顶层权贵的深远算计、看不懂古镇百年的阴暗秘辛、看不懂人性深处的幽暗鬼蜮、看不懂全员沉默的残酷真相。
可她的本心、她的直觉、她未被世俗污染的纯粹本心,早已穿透所有虚假平和、所有繁华伪装、所有温柔骗局、所有规
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