第60章 黄河问心
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眶发酸。
暮色彻底沉落谷底,天地间的最后一缕天光彻底消散,远山尽数融进浓稠的夜色,河面落日金光彻底褪去,只剩滔滔流水在漆黑的夜色里沉默奔腾、声声不息,哗哗的流水声在寂静旷野里无限放大,似是万古岁月的低沉叹息,似是无人读懂的人间悲悯,似是对他半生坎坷的无声叩问。
(本章未完,请点击下一页继续阅读)第60章黄河问心(第2/2页)
二叔身形微微一晃,双腿酸胀发软、沉重无力,连日熬夜承压、心神耗竭、饮食无序、精神紧绷,早已让他身心透支、濒临极限,再也撑不住往日笔直挺拔、坚韧刚硬的身姿。
他缓缓屈膝、缓缓蹲身、缓缓落地,双膝轻轻触碰微凉潮湿的滩涂地面。粗糙微凉的泥沙抵着膝盖,带着接地气的厚重寒凉,却也稍稍稳住了他摇晃的身形、压下了心底翻涌的慌乱与破碎。
他微微佝偻脊背、轻轻下沉肩头、彻底松弛紧绷了数十日的脖颈与腰背,卸下了所有强硬的姿态、所有刻意的沉稳、所有咬牙的硬撑,彻底陷入孤身的沉寂、彻底沉入自我的叩问、彻底释放心底的万般情绪。
这是他半生漂泊、半生吃苦、半生硬扛、半生自愈以来,第一次真正的迷茫,第一次真切的倦怠,第一次由衷的迟疑,第一次发自内心的想要放弃。
在此之前,无论处境多苦、前路多难、打压多狠、绝境多深、委屈多大,他的心底永远绷着一股不服输、不认命、不低头、不退缩、不躺平、不摆烂的韧劲。
哪怕身处泥泞、遍体鳞伤、一无所有、孤身绝境,他依旧笃定地相信,熬过去就是光明、扛过去就是新生、拼下去就是希望、坚持住就能翻盘。无论命运如何刁难、人心如何凉薄、前路如何坎坷,他始终心怀热望、坚守本心、咬牙前行。
可这一次,这场裹着极致温柔假面、藏着最深人心险恶、借着圈层博弈之手、精准针对性围剿的温柔屠刀,不动声色、无声无息地击碎了他坚守多年的人生认知、处世准则、价值执念。
他一直坚信,天道酬勤、实干立身、真诚待人、善良有度、担当做事,便能行稳致远、安稳立足、被人善待。可现实狠狠给了他最沉重、最刺骨、最彻底的一记耳光。
最踏实肯干的人,被最彻底辜负;最真诚坦荡的人,被最精心算计;最善良担当的人,被最无情收割;最拼命向上的人,被最刻意清零。
如此荒诞、如此残酷、如此无解、如此诛心。
于是,他第一次开始深刻怀疑自己一路走来所有的坚持、所有的吃苦、所有的隐忍、所有的拼搏,到底值不值得、到底有没有意义、到底能不能换来一丝安稳。
秋风瑟瑟卷野、河水滔滔东流、天地寂寂无声、孤身寥寥无依。
他低头望着脚下奔流远去的浑浊黄河水,望着水面摇曳破碎的月光倒影,任由万千心绪翻涌拉扯、反复内耗、自我博弈,在心底无声地、一遍遍地叩问自己。
这么拼、这么熬、这么苦、这么累、这么执着、这么倔强,到底值不值得?
远离故土、斩断牵挂、孤身远行、四海漂泊、无依无靠、无根无凭,受尽世间欺凌、尝遍人情寒凉、历经数次骗局、屡遭人生崩塌,一次次跌倒站起、一次次归零重来、一次次热忱被浇灭、一次次倔强再出发。这般无休止的苦难、无休止的煎熬、无休止的起落、无休止的内耗,到底何时是尽头、何处是归处、何时能得安稳?
若是人间皆是凉薄、世事皆是无常、人心皆是难测、努力皆是徒劳、真诚皆是软肋、善良皆是弊端,那他这般咬牙硬扛、拼命前行、死磕成长、绝不认输、坚守本心、赤诚待人,究竟还有什么意义?
无数过往碎片、半生起落浮沉、一路悲欢离合、全程血泪艰辛,顺着滔滔黄河流水、迎着瑟瑟凛冽秋风,尽数翻涌心头、清晰浮现、层层缠绕、挥之不去,一桩桩、一件件、一幕幕,历历在目、入心刺骨、无比真切、无从消散。
他想起戈壁小镇那片贫瘠荒芜、风沙漫天的黄土故土。想起老家那座破旧低矮、无人打理、早已荒芜的黄土老宅,斑驳的土墙、开裂的木窗、落满灰尘的土炕、杂草丛生的院落,藏着他仅有的童年记忆、仅有的故土温情、仅有的年少念想。
想起老家门前那条蜿蜒曲折、尘土飞扬的土路,日出时分的薄雾晨光、黄昏时分的落日余晖、深夜时分的漫天星光,四季轮转、风沙往复、寂静无声,陪伴他度过了孤苦清冷、无人陪伴的年少时光。
想起戈壁荒原的漫天风沙、连绵沙丘、孤直胡杨、落日长河,那片土地虽穷、虽荒、虽寂、虽苦,却干净纯粹、坦荡直白、无诈无欺、无勾无斗、无凉无叛。风沙的苦,是明面上的苦;贫瘠的难,是看得见的难;从来没有人心的阴毒、人情的虚伪、利益的厮杀、温柔的陷阱。
他想起母亲临终前虚弱苍白的容颜、含泪不舍的眼眸
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