第27章 只想当个厨子

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实中也遭遇了严峻挑战。
    张凡过去偶尔去超市采购,虽然相貌出众会引人多看两眼,但从未引起围堵。可现在不同了,他那张脸在各大头条和视频里刷了屏,辨识度极高。
    这天下午,张凡估摸着陆雪晴午睡快醒了,想趁着她醒前,去小区附近一家进口超市买些新鲜的三文鱼和牛油果,晚上给她做她最近爱吃的三文鱼牛油果沙拉。
    他像往常一样,穿着简单的灰色卫衣和运动裤,戴了顶棒球帽,压低帽檐,觉得应该没问题。
    起初确实很顺利。他推着购物车,在生鲜区仔细挑选。但当他拿起一盒三文鱼,对着灯光查看纹理时,旁边一个正在挑选牛排的中年阿姨,频频侧目看他。张凡有所察觉,下意识把帽檐又压了压,转身想去拿牛油果。
    “哎?你是不是……是不是那个……”阿姨突然激动起来,声音不大,但在安静的超市里挺清晰,“电视上那个!给大明星写歌的!还怕老婆的那个!叫……张凡!对不对?”
    这一声如同投入平静水面的石子。附近几个顾客纷纷抬头看过来。
    张凡心里咯噔一下,低声说了句“您认错人了”,推着车就想快步离开。
    (本章未完,请点击下一页继续阅读)第27章只想当个厨子(第2/2页)
    但阿姨已经确认了,声音更大了些:“没错!就是你!哎呀我可喜欢你们两口子了!我女儿天天在家看你们视频!小伙子比电视上还俊!”阿姨的热情引来了更多目光。
    很快,有年轻的顾客也认出了他,发出低呼:“真是张凡!”“天啊!凡神!”“在买菜?!好接地气!”
    手机摄像头开始悄悄举起。有人试探性地靠近,想打招呼或要签名。
    张凡感到一阵熟悉的头痛,他加快脚步,想迅速穿过饮料区去收银台。但认出他的人越来越多,尤其是几个年轻女孩,已经兴奋地小跑着跟在他后面,一边跟同伴确认一边举着手机拍。
    “张凡!能合个影吗?”
    “凡神!给我签个名吧!我是‘凡雪’党!”
    “大神!你今晚给雪晴姐做什么好吃的呀?”
    问题纷至沓来,围观的人也渐渐增多,堵塞了通道。张凡眉头紧锁,一言不发,只想尽快脱身。他试图转向另一个通道,却被闻讯赶来的其他顾客堵住。
    超市的保安注意到骚动,过来维持秩序,但面对热情的粉丝(尤其是中老年阿姨粉和年轻女粉混合的阵容),也有些无奈。
    张凡被围在中间,进退不得。他手里还拿着那盒三文鱼,购物车里只有几样零星的东西。
    耳边是七嘴八舌的呼喊和快门声,眼前是无数兴奋好奇的脸庞和手机屏幕。他感觉自己像动物园里突然被SpOtlight照到的稀有动物。
    耐心耗尽。他趁着保安分开人群的一个间隙,迅速将三文鱼扔回最近的冷藏柜(甚至没放回原位),然后低着头,凭借身高腿长的优势,硬是从人缝中挤了出去,朝着超市出口的方向快步疾走,几乎是小跑起来。
    “哎!别走啊!”
    “大神!等等!”
    后面传来遗憾的喊声和追赶的脚步声。
    张凡冲出超市大门,初春的冷风一吹,他才稍微松了口气。回头看了一眼超市里还在张望的人群,他果断放弃了回去重新购物的打算。菜没买成,还惹了一身骚。
    他黑着脸,走到路边僻静处,拿出手机,打开外卖软件,快速找到了那家超市的线上配送服务,重新下单了需要的三文鱼、牛油果和其他食材,备注:“放门口,勿扰,谢谢。”
    回到家,陆雪晴刚好醒来,正在客厅慢慢走动。见他空手而归,脸色不虞,奇怪地问:“怎么了?没买到?”
    张凡脱下外套,把帽子扔在沙发上,难得地语气郁闷:“被认出来了,追得我没法买。”
    陆雪晴愣了一下,随即明白了,忍不住笑出声:“你现在可是‘顶流’家属兼本尊,出门哪能这么随意。”她走过来,摸摸他的脸,“生气啦?”
    “麻烦。”张凡言简意赅,但脸色缓和了些,伸手把她圈进怀里,下巴蹭蹭她的发顶,“只想给你买点菜。”
    “知道啦,我的‘麻烦’厨子。”陆雪晴笑得更欢。
    但张凡觉得这事儿不能就这么算了。他坐到电脑前,登录了自己那个几乎长草、认证为“音乐人”但之前只转发过陆雪晴工作室相关信息的微博账号。
    思考了几秒钟,他修长的手指在键盘上敲击,发布了一条新动态:
    @张凡:
    今天没买到媳妇儿要吃的菜,被别人追着满超市跑。谁要是再在我买菜的时候堵我,一整年没歌!!!【图片】
    配图是一张从外卖软件订单详情页的截图,上面清楚地显示着他刚刚下单的超市配送订单,购买物品栏里“三文鱼”、“牛油果”等字样赫然在列,送货地址打了码,但
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