018节 乌鸡国井底捞国王
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亭子，只见国王尸体躺得笔直，苍白如A4纸，身上还缠着水草，散发着一股“井水腌黄瓜”味，手指上还挂着一串珍珠手链，在幽暗的井底泛着微光。珍珠手链上的每一颗珠子都映着井底的绿光，仿佛无数只萤火虫在跳舞，看得八戒眼睛都直了。井龙王还特意用权杖挑起一颗珍珠，珍珠竟发出“叮咚”脆响，声音在井底回荡，吓得几只躲在水草里的虾兵慌忙逃窜，有几只不小心撞到了夜叉的钢叉，发出“当啷”声，场面混乱又好笑。
八戒盯着“宝贝”脸都绿了，活像吞了苦瓜：“龙…龙王爷爷！您管这叫宝贝？俺要的是能闪瞎眼的金银珠宝！这…这分明是‘过期尸体’啊！”井龙王笑得像推销成功的大忽悠：“元帅呐，这尸体可比金子值钱！背上去交给唐僧，保准加鸡腿！这叫‘背尸得福报’！再说了，这珍珠手链可是乌鸡国皇家御用，价值连城啊！每一颗珍珠都经过九十九道工艺打磨，比嫦娥的眼泪还珍贵！”说着还捻起一颗珍珠，珍珠竟在指尖放出微光，映得井龙王的脸忽明忽暗，仿佛在播放皮影戏。八戒眼珠一转，心里小算盘噼啪响：“对呀！背尸体=大功劳=师父加餐！比十个媳妇划算！还有这珍珠手链，拿去当铺换了钱，足够娶两房媳妇！说不定还能开个‘八戒猪肉铺’！”当即扛起尸体，宛如搬运年货，嘴里还嘟囔：“国王陛下，对不住了！借您尸体一用，换俺老猪的鸡腿大餐！”尸体身上的水草缠着他的脖子，随着他的走动一晃一晃的，活像挂满了绿藻的咸鱼，水草上的水珠滴落，在地面腐蚀出一个个小坑，坑中还冒着气泡，夜叉们纷纷后退，生怕被溅到，有几个胆大的还举着盾牌挡在面前，盾牌上刻着“防腐蚀”三个字，显得格外滑稽。
（本章未完，请点击下一页继续阅读）018节乌鸡国井底捞国王(第2/2页)
悟空在井口等得抓耳挠腮，见八戒扛着“人形包裹”爬上来，吓得差点从云头栽下去：“呆子！你扛的是啥？诈尸啦？快扔！佛门重地扛尸体，师父得念超度咒超度你！”八戒抹汗如雨下，喘得跟破风箱似的：“猴哥！这是龙王送的‘VIP大礼’！乌鸡国国王！能换大功劳！”悟空白眼翻出天际，咬牙道：“你被龙王忽悠瘸了！快回寺，被师父发现，咱俩得去大雷音寺扫厕所！还有，那珍珠手链你偷藏了是吧？别以为俺老孙没看见！你裤兜都快被珍珠坠成沙袋了！”八戒慌忙捂住口袋，手链叮当作响：“猴哥，分你一半，别告诉师父！这珍珠能换酒钱，咱们去长安城喝花酒！”悟空嗤笑一声：“谁要你那破珠子？当心硌牙！不过…要是真能换酒钱，记得喊上俺老孙！”
两人驾云如快递小哥，晃悠着“尸体包裹”奔回宝林寺。唐僧见八戒扛着尸体，吓得佛珠都滚成地雷，声音抖得能发电报：“悟…悟空！八戒！佛门净地，何故扛…扛尸？这…这成何体统！”尸体的脚还拖在地上，蹭出了一道水痕，活像拖把扫过的地面，水痕所过之处，青砖竟被腐蚀得发白，仿佛被泼了硫酸，砖缝里还冒出几缕白烟，吓得沙僧慌忙后退，禅杖差点杵到自己的脚。八戒“啪嗒”扔下尸体，委屈如被抢了糖的孩子：“师父！是猴哥让俺扛的！他说能立功！”悟空跳脚如踩了风火轮：“呆子！你血口喷人！明明是你贪功！那珍珠手链还在你口袋里叮当响呢！师父，您看，这呆子还想私吞皇家珍宝！”唐僧定睛一看，果然见八戒的袈裟口袋鼓鼓囊囊，伸手一掏，一串珍珠手链赫然在目，佛珠在手里转得更快了：“八戒，出家人不可贪财…这手链乃国王之物，待还魂后归还。”八戒立刻哭丧着脸：“师父，俺错了，这手链孝敬您，就当俺的孝敬钱！不过…师父，您看这珍珠能不能留一颗给俺？俺想串个项链送媳妇…”唐僧将手链放回他口袋：“收好，待会儿还给国王。沙僧，准备香案，为师要诵经超度亡魂。”沙僧默默擦汗，禅杖杵地“咚”的一声，汗珠落地竟砸出一个小坑，坑中还有一圈圈涟漪，仿佛被汗珠砸出了微型水井：“师父，这…这尸体怎么处理？会不会诈尸啊？”唐僧闭目念经，佛光普照：“阿弥陀佛，悟空，你去求九转还魂丹吧。”
悟空叹气摇头，掏出紧箍咒如掏定时炸弹：“悟空，出家人慈悲…你就救救国王吧。”八戒立刻补刀：“师父！猴哥不去，就念咒！让他疼得打滚，保管比杀猪叫还响！上次他偷吃人参果，被师父念咒时，那声音把寺里的老鼠都吓出洞了！”悟空瞬间炸毛：“呆子！你…你污蔑！俺老孙啥时偷看仙女洗澡了？那是你做梦啃猪蹄！再说了，寺里的老鼠明明是被你的呼噜声吓跑的！”唐僧二话不说，紧箍咒一念，悟空顿时满地打滚，金箍棒当拐棍，哀嚎如杀年猪：“师父别念！俺去！俺去求老君！九转还魂丹…俺去偷…啊不，求！”寺里的老鼠都被这动静吓得窜出洞，在墙角瑟瑟发抖，其中一只竟被悟空的滚动能量震晕了过去，瘫在地上四脚朝天，嘴里还叼着半块发霉的馒头，显得格外凄凉。
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