第十章 堪选之路
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围。远离漩涡中心，熬到顺位离开，就是苟学派的终极胜利！系统任务栏里那个【守护绿帽】一直挂着，进度条比千年王八爬得还慢，祝一凡也乐得装死：难道真要他去给黎明办公室的门把手安装贞洁锁？这操作太刑了！
（本章未完，请点击下一页继续阅读）第十章堪选之路(第2/2页)
黎明这位“佛系”领导，最爱挂着“看破红尘，四大皆空”的招牌微笑，对祝一凡进行定期“心灵桑拿”：“小祝啊，咱们都一样，都是市局发配来的‘天涯沦落人’！看见你，就像照镜子，格外亲切！”这话，三分自嘲，七分是“咱都老实趴着别瞎折腾，苟住就是胜利”的潜台词，附带“同是咸鱼莫翻身”的惺惺相惜。
在这种“安静如鸡”（字面意思，连鸡都觉得这里太闷，拒绝打鸣）的极致和谐氛围里，交警队的生存法则悄然进化成了究极形态：相互回避，彼此透明，无瓜无葛，天下太平。这简直是为刚经历“主场沦陷”、正在“战损疗养”的祝一凡量身定制的体制内PTSD（创伤后应激障碍）特级疗养院。
每当黎明祭出“沦落人镜面论”，祝一凡总能条件反射般使出“太极推手”，笑容标准得能直接印在《公务员社交礼仪手册》封面上：“领导说得对！紧跟您的步伐，前路必然一片光明！（他的内心OS：光明到能看清您头上那若隐若现的环保色光谱吗？要不要给您推荐个染发膏？）”
他感觉自己离成为交警队官方指定“佛系”表情包就差一个GIF动图了。
有一次，黎明话锋一转，带着点居委会大妈般的八卦试探：“小祝啊，说真的，你这年纪，正是仕途爬坡的黄金期，怎么想着来交警队这‘港湾’了？（潜台词：你小子是不是得罪人了被发配边疆？）”
后半句“没到养老时节是吧？”虽未出口，但祝一凡已通过脑电波精准接收。他自己也懵着呢！***是上头那套“合流分流”的组合拳，打得人晕头转向，如同半夜撞了鬼。只能自我安慰：折腾吧，暗流涌动之后，结局终归是百川归海，至于归到哪个风景优美的臭水沟，那就听天由命了。
别看黎明日常说话像打太极，一个“和”字牌打得炉火纯青，但一旦触及“改革”这个终极G点…嘶啦！整个人瞬间犹如被高压电击中！眼睛“唰”地一下亮得能当探照灯，仿佛眼前不是他那张包浆的办公桌，而是星辰大海的宏大蓝图！他瞬间化身为激情演说家，唾沫与理想齐飞：“我们要进位到哪？对标什么样的世界一流模板？小祝你的核心优势在哪里？如何精准定位你这条‘鲶鱼’的搅动方向？搅多大动静？我连时间节点都精确规划好了！三年后的今天，就是我们湖跺交警队涅槃重生、一飞冲天的黄道吉日！”
神奇的一幕发生了！随着黎明激昂的、堪比传销头目的演说，他脸上竟真的泛起一层迷之圣光，宛如自带PS柔焦彩虹滤镜！整个人气场“噌噌”往上拔高，身后仿佛有虚幻的七彩小宇宙在熊熊燃烧，金光四射，无限斑驳，也可能是办公室那盏年久失修的顶灯接触不良，疯狂闪烁。若潜入宏帝汉末，这黎明绝对有潜力成为张角座下首席大护法，口号都想好了：“苍天已死，佛系当立，岁在甲子，交警大吉！”
祝一凡看得嘴角疯狂抽搐。学过点心理学的他秒懂：这是“超我”强行附体，境界升华了！等这股子“圣人贤者”模式电量耗尽，回归现实这滩连蚊子都懒得产卵的死水，那落差感能把人直接拍进马里亚纳海沟级别的抑郁深渊，连“本我”那点想找乐子的原始冲动都得被掐得死死的。
祝一凡其实是懂黎明的。他是伟大的空想家，也是卑微的PPT战士。黎明谈起改革，能从盘古开天辟地聊到宇宙尽头，从“羊肠小径”升华到“康庄大道”，从“梦的种子”吹到“梦想号火箭升空”，唯独绝口不提一件事：给你配什么人手、批多少经费、给多大权限！
祝一凡内心弹幕瞬间爆炸：“领导！没有面包和奶酪，您跟我搁这儿谈什么米其林三星理想主义盛宴？这不就是耍流氓吗？！”他太清楚了：没有实质性的弹药粮草投入，理想和实践之间的距离，比马里亚纳海沟最深的海沟还要深不可测！
湖跺交警队缺人吗？编制表上满满当当！缺钱吗？年度预算报告写得花团锦簇！它缺的，是能把想法从精美PPT里拽进现实泥潭、且有胆子去碰硬骨头、还要不怕被骨头硌断牙的狠人！黎明的改革大计，精美得像奢侈品店橱窗里的镇店之宝，可仅供瞻仰，谢绝触摸，非卖品，易碎品！
系统对黎明的判断简直一针见血！看着眼前这位沐浴在虚幻圣光里、畅想着几年后如何涅槃的领导，再想想头上挂着的【守护绿帽】任务和那无声无息的后院危机，祝一凡心中那点无奈，瞬间升级成了北极寒风般的凄凉：“救不了，根本救不了！这破系统让我拯救的，怕不是个即将起飞的绿色热气球吧！”
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