楔子
笔趣阁(biquge321.com)更新快,无弹窗!
灵寰已经作了三天妖,自从山神爷爷十天前回天庭叙职开始,山里就开始鸡飞狗跳。
这一日天正好,水正清,正适合浑水摸鱼招猫偷狗。
五姑姑一把将水里摸鱼的灵寰拉了出来,甩了把毛绒绒大尾巴吸溜口水语重心长:“灵寰啊,我们给你找了个相公,洞房都准备好了!”
五姑姑是个猫妖,奈何怕水,从未下过水。
灵寰一愣,鱼嗖一下用一种鱼跃龙门之态飞扑如水,消失不见。
她愣的不是别的,这山上大大小小的事和地方她摸得比自个脚指头还清楚,五天前五十五个爷爷伯伯姑姑叔叔哥哥姐姐们开始哀嚎,在经过在人间呆的时间最久最有话语权的狐狸精,胡十三一拍爪子决定给她娶个相公玩。
于是乎她的山洞被征用了,从此流落在外,只得摸鱼逗鸟。
灵寰倒是有些好奇,被她五十五个姑叔叔哥哥姐姐们一致同意的相公,那该长成个什么样子哦?
他们老早就暗搓搓蹲在山路口看,灵寰就知道她会有个相公,还问柳树爷爷相公是什么,被路过的胡十三听闻后一脸恨铁不成钢的拉着她恶补一通人间的无边风月录和避火图,至于补成个什么样,没人知道。
这不,她就被簇拥着进了红通通的山洞,猝不及防被糊一脸红纱。
“胡姐姐,我墙上的石头......”
胡十三翻了个白眼,“人间的小姐都是住这样的房子,你那破石头破木头都丢了,琴棋书画才是王道!”
灵寰抓了把头发,冷不丁薅下一爪子草,扒着大门口不肯往里去,“不行不行,你们说娶了相公他会给我买好吃的好玩的我才娶的,怎地娶他还要换山洞?我石头呢?我攒了好几年的!”
兔子精搔了把灵寰的咯吱窝,顺利使她松手,七手八脚抬起灵寰拉开帘子就把她往里一丢!
老树精拉长了嗓子一声大吼:“礼成!”
随众妖如海水退潮般一溜烟的跑了。
灵寰被丢了个七荤八素,摇摇晃晃爬起来尤听得胡十三欢快余音,“等你那破石头成精当小弟,还不如好好调教你这相公!”
还不等灵寰看看自个山洞成什么样子了,啪地一下,一张纸贴灵寰额头上。
灵寰眼睛使劲朝上翻,最后不耐烦一伸手摘了下来。只见黄纸上画着也不知什么红线,七弯八绕看不懂。
却听得一个清冷的声音问:“你是人?”
灵寰听音抬头,那公子一身素白衣裳站在不远处,脚下是红碎布,头发比夜空还黑,衬得那脸......
她瞄瞄碎成渣渣的红外袍吸了下口水,嘿嘿一笑说:“胡姐姐说这事儿要我主动才能得美妙之道,你这嫁衣脱得委实有些快,不过不打紧。”
公子在看见她面色一僵,“你眼睛......你不是凡人?”
灵寰这才注意到相公的眼睛好看得很,黑漆漆的,像是有星光在里面似的。不像自己......她不由得爬下床想摸摸那抹星光,可相公却往后猛退一步,皱眉揉了揉鼻子。
“有些腥,我方才捉了条鱼,”灵寰抓起袖子擦擦手,“要不我给你炖个鱼汤?我告诉你鱼汤可好喝了,山里什么都有,你想吃什么就告诉我!”
灵寰胸膛拍的砰砰响,胡十三千叮咛万嘱咐就怕灵寰受了气,故而把无边风月录性别对调了下,至于对调成什么样子,不再细说。
公子一指她身后,“你,坐哪儿去,离我远点!”
灵寰被唬住了,瞄了瞄那好看的手指,缩手缩脚回到床边坐下,背着手悄悄那大红喜被擦手。
这相公好看是好看,就是脾气好像有点不大好。
灵寰乖乖托着下巴看着他拿出两张纸人,在纸人身上一画,小纸人霎时灵动起来一俯身。
“不言不语,动手。”
小纸人得令,咻地一下往外飞。
牧折生掸掸衣袖,却听闻那厢啪啪啪鼓掌声,黑了脸。
灵寰一边鼓掌一边大加赞赏,“好看好看,比胡姐姐拔毛变小人好看多了!”
满堂红艳艳,俗不可耐的颜色压得牧折生面沉如墨,灵寰灵机一动掀开被子说:“相公是不是累了?要不要宽衣休息?哦你已经宽衣了,宽衣下一步是什么来着?唉胡姐姐给我的册子跑哪儿去了?”
那册子上的小人画的着实无趣,一个个看不清脸还朦朦胧胧,胡十三神秘兮兮恶补一通再把自己的珍藏版塞给灵寰。
灵寰就不知道哪日顺手塞哪儿了,犹记得上面有一册写着鱼水之欢来着?
今日她在河里趟了大半日,欢没觉得,倒是有些硌脚丫子。
“我的鱼水之欢跑哪儿去了?”
牧折生黑着脸瞅见压桌脚的一本册子,隐约露出三十六式几个大字,再也忍不住伸出两根手指尖,是的,拇指和食指,一下把趴在地上试图刨床底的灵寰揪了起来,提溜着往
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