第1125章 你敢嘲笑我
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第1125章你敢嘲笑我(第1/2页)
赵无机被恩崔立像捆腊肠一样绑在马背上，颠得早饭都要吐出来了。
“大哥......能不能换个姿势？我快......yue......窒息了......“
恩崔立头也不回：“再废话就把你舌头割了。“
赵无机立刻闭嘴，然后在心里狂吼：“系统！你的‘临时主角光环’呢？！“
【系统提示：光环已生效——宿主目前死亡概率仅为87%，比普通路人甲低13个百分点】
“这特么叫主角光环？！“
马匹突然急刹。赵无机滚落在地，抬头看到一座被紫光笼罩的冰窟——凯恩巨锥的巫师老巢。
阿卡尔·凯梭正悬浮在半空，碎魔晶在他胸前旋转。恩崔立单膝跪地：“主人，抓到一个知道战锤战歌弱点的精灵。“
巫师缓缓飘来，腐臭的袍角扫过赵无机惨白的脸：“说。“
赵无机张了张嘴，突然不受控制地唱起来：
“您的晶石真美丽，但怕矮人唱DOREMI~
要是战锤来吼一嗓，您会哭得像个小baby~“
全场死寂。
恩崔立的匕首“当啷“掉在地上。
【系统：检测到宿主触发押韵诅咒，惩罚强度升级为“每句话必须带旋律“】
凯梭的嘴角抽搐：“你...在嘲笑我？“
“不不不！“赵无机急得手舞足蹈，结果变成了即兴RAP：
“大佬请听我解释~这绝对是真事儿~
矮人声波能共振~专克您的魔法阵~“
碎魔晶突然剧烈闪烁。凯梭暴怒：“把他扔进兽栏！“
---
兽栏里，赵无机和一头生无可恋的冬狼面面相觑。
“兄弟，“他试着交流，“你也受不了那巫师的破诗朗诵对吧？“
冬狼：“嗷呜~“
“你说得对，他审美确实土~“
【系统：检测到跨物种共鸣，解锁临时技能“野兽之友（押韵版）】
靠着这个技能，赵无机成功说服冬狼帮他啃断绳索。正当他们策划逃跑时，地面突然震动——远处传来矮人的战吼和兵器碰撞声。
“崔斯特和战锤家打进来了！“
赵无机扒着栏杆，看到白发精灵正以华丽的刀法砍翻骷髅战士，布鲁诺的战锤每次挥舞都带起一片冰雾。
“好机会！“他跨上冬狼，“我们趁乱——“
冬狼突然仰天长啸：“嗷呜呜~（老子要报仇）“
然后像离弦之箭般冲向战场，把赵无机甩得像个破风筝。
“慢点！我是商人不是骑兵！yue——“
【系统：主角光环效果追加——存在感降至零，目前被误伤概率仅剩62%】
冬狼一个漂移杀入敌阵，正好撞翻举着法杖的凯梭。碎魔晶滚落到赵无机脚边，发出诱惑的低语：“捡起我...给你十万金币...“
他的手不受控制地伸向水晶，突然想起原著里所有碰过这玩意儿的都没好下场，赶紧改成踢足球动作：“走你！“
水晶划出完美弧线，正好掉进布鲁诺的啤酒桶里。
“老子的酒！“矮人暴怒，抡起桶砸向凯梭。
“砰！“
浸透矮人烈酒的碎魔晶撞上巫师，瞬间爆出漫天紫火。当烟雾散去，地上只剩下一堆灰烬和半融化的水晶残渣。
崔斯特收刀入鞘，皱眉看向赵无机：“你......“
赵无机赶紧举手发誓：“我什么都没干！是酒桶先动的手！“
结果脱口而出的是一段歌剧：
“啊~命运女神她开玩笑~
我只是个路过的良民~
若您要问谁立大功~
请找那只发疯的狼先生~“
冬狼配合地“嗷呜“一声，叼走了凯梭的镀金腰带。
---
战后清算时，赵无机缩在角落数钱：
“从凯梭仓库顺走的镀金烛台：+20金币
冬狼报恩送的兽人牙项链：+5金币
卖掉‘参与最终之战‘的吹牛权：+15金币
总计：资产突破100金币！“
布鲁诺突然拎着酒桶出现：“小子，虽然你是个奸商......“
“但看在你间接帮忙的份上，“崔斯特补充，“战锤家族愿意按市价买你的袜子。“
赵无机感动得热泪盈眶，结果张嘴又是一段咏叹调：
“啊~善良的矮人朋友~
您的胸襟像山一样宽广~
但批发价真的不能再低~
毕竟我还要攒钱回家乡~“
在众人憋笑的目光中，他哭着跑走了。
【系统：押韵诅咒剩余时间23天11小时】
…………
赵无机蹲在独林镇新开的“
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